John knocked hesitantly on the door, trailed by three of the guards, their arms laden with equipment. The door opened and he found Carrie, blocking the doorway and looking uncertainly up at him.

“Um… I have some computer equipment that Marlena needs...” Not knowing what to say to the young woman who had been his daughter, he simply stood fidgeting, awaiting her reaction to him.

“John!” A smile flitted briefly across her face before she noted the guards behind him. “Uh, sure. Come in. Mom’s taking a nap, she was really tired after the meeting...”

Carrie’s voice was cut of by a loud cry from Sami. “Dad!” Sprinting toward him, Sami threw herself into his arms. Burying her face in his chest, she muttered, “I knew you didn’t do it. Mom said you didn’t set the bomb. She said you didn’t do it.”

Sami his baby. She’d always been able to break him to her will. Aware of Carrie watching him with inscrutable eyes, of Eric’s glare from his seat at the card table, John cautiously wrapped his arms around his youngest daughter. Ignoring the guards shifting restlessly behind his back, he whispered words meant only for her. “I would never harm any of you. Any of the family. You should know that.”

Sami held tight for another moment, then stepped back to brush away happy tears. “I did know. I never thought you did it,” she said, shooting a sharp look at her brother.

John flashed her a smile and gestured to the guards behind him. “Where can we set this stuff up?”

“Use the card table, John. What’s all of that for, anyway?” Carrie asked, watching curiously as Bryce and the others carried in various computer parts.

“We have some computerized files your mother is taking a look at. I thought she might be more comfortable working in here,” he said. The less Marlena was around Dimera, the happier John would be.

The men began setting up the equipment and Eric reluctantly moved from his spot to go slouch in one of the lounge chairs. Sami grabbed John’s hands and pulled him toward the couch. Keeping one watchful eye on Carrie as she observed the guards at their work, he allowed Sami to tug him down onto the couch.





In a seemingly casual gestured, Sami picked up the deck of cards Eric had dropped on the coffee table. Shuffling them through her hands, she began to deal out four hands. “Why don’t you stay for dinner, Dad?”

Absently, uncomfortable with Carrie’s proximity to his men, he shook his head. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Sami,” he replied. Picking up the cards set before him, he was relieved to see Carrie turn and come to join them.

As Carrie she moved to the sitting area, John caught Bryce’s appreciative glance at her retreating figure. Filing it away for later, he relaxed as Carrie plopped down in the other lounge chair and picked up her cards.

Still refusing to meet anyone’s eyes, Eric casually scooped up the cards in front of him and slapped down the two of clubs. Without further discussion, they immersed themselves in the familiar competition.

“She’s beautiful just like her mother.”

He’s looking down at her, eyes intense. She offers him a smile, and his face softens. “Yes, John I do know that. I trust you. I will always trust you.”

Marlena awoke with a start, jolted from a dream by the distant sound of laughter. She blinked bleary eyes and looked around in confusion, trying to figure out where she was. Dimera. Dimera and John. She sighed, her head sinking back to rest against the fluffy pillows as she ran a hand across the smooth curve of her stomach. The baby was gone. John was gone. Her dreams could do nothing to change that harsh reality.

Hearing the sound of her children’s laughter in the next room, she managed a weak grin, grateful that they were still able to find some happiness, even in this place. Looking around, she admitted that under any other circumstances, she would love it here. The rustic logs seemed to exude a warmth of their own and the big window allowed in the light of the setting sun, the view of the woods and mountains better than any artwork. With a muttered groan, she rolled from beneath the cool crisp sheets and went to tug on a pair of jeans. Not bothering with shoes or to tuck in the oversized white linen shirt she had found hanging in her closet, she opened the door. At the sound of his voice, she halted in the doorway. She watched unnoticed as the small group played cards, their easy camaraderie bringing a lump to her throat.

“I can’t believe you shot the moon again, Carrie!” John said in exasperation, sitting back on the couch as she gathered the cards strewn around the table.

“What can I say? You taught me well,” Carrie replied with a laugh.

My God, she hadn’t realized how much she missed him, Marlena thought, watching as he played with their children. For so long she had been consumed by the big issues. The loss of her husband, the husband she had thought John to be. Roman’s return and her attempts to bring him back into her life. The baby she had carried and the loss of that child. Above it all, had been the fear. The fear that she had never really known him, never known the man who had been her husband, her partner, for so many years.

Watching as he sat with the kids, she had to admit that he would always be a part of her, would always hold a piece of her heart. She had forgotten that it was the little things that had made her life so complete, the little things that bound them together. The Friday ‘movie nights’, when they would rent cheesy movies and sit around eating pizza and popcorn. The inevitable popcorn fights that always seemed to endup boys against girls. Watching out the window, as father and son had played catch, every Saturday morning without fail. Back then, she had worried about the day Eric would end up ditching his dad for a hot date, or a morning at the mall with his friends. Now, she could only wish their play had ended so simply. She sighed to herself, remembering the way he had brought her coffee in bed, every morning. Even now, she woke expecting to find a steaming cup beside her. His face, hovering above her. All of the memories made the ache inside her grow as she watched them trying to recapture something that had been destroyed. The memories made it all the harder for her to end the sad charade they were carrying out but it did have to end.

Sitting quietly, as he had the entire time, Eric caught sight of his mother standing in the doorway. His eyes narrowed, a guilty look flashing across his face. “Mom?!”

As the word registered with John, he jumped awkwardly to his feet and turned in her direction. Eric wasn’t the only one who looked guilty. “Oh hi. I was just… I brought in a computer so you could check those files from here. Uh, I guess I should go,” he said, backing from the table with a brief nod in the direction of the children.

“John… I’d like to speak to you for a moment,” Marlena said quietly. 

Swallowing convulsively, he stood mute, as if awaiting her direction.

She walked over to where he stood rooted to the floor, shooting a look at the children. “Why don’t we step outside for a minute?” she asked, trying to sound casual, trying not to betray her pain over what she would ask of him.

He followed her into the hall, watching her uncertainly. The silence stretched out, the words refusing to come to her.

“What is it, Marlena? If there is anything...”





She felt the tears puddle in the corner of her eyes, hating the fact that all she seemed to do anymore was cry. His hand crept to her face, and she knew that if he touched her she wouldn’t be able to do what she had to.

“Doc, I...”

“Don’t call me that!” she snapped, slapping his hand away before it could make contact.

Stunned, he stepped away from her, a bitter laugh ringing out. “Seems like old times.”

She shook her head, grimacing. “Hard to believe we’d ever look back on West Virginia and consider those the ‘good times’, isn’t it?”

“At least it wasn’t me you hated back then,” he replied with a shrug.





“I don’t hate you now. I’m sorry I just, every time I’m around you I end up confused,” she said, her tone more gentle.

“You shouldn’t be sorry, the fault is mine. I shouldn’t have called you that. I had no right...”

“No! You should have every right!” she said, the anger flaring again. She was angry at him, at herself, at the world in general. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, biting her lip in an effort not to scream. With a deep breath, she tried to explain it in a way he would understand. “You were here for us for 14 years. That gives you the right. It just… it can’t be.”

He stood silently, unwilling to say anything. She wished he’d argue with her. She wished he’d apologize, for what, it didn’t really matter. Hell, she wished he’d tell her it had all been a bad dream and that he was still her husband and he had to hurry or he’d be late for work. But he didn’t say anything, just looked at her with those blue eyes, willing to do anything she asked. Damn him for putting this all on her!

Marlena gave a long frustrated sigh, reluctant to risk more words that would hurt. “John, I know this isn’t your fault, that you didn’t plan to be in our lives again. I know you tried to leave and I understand why you did. But this has to stop. The children… I know you don’t mean to, to unsettle the children, but you being here confuses them. Sami still thinks you’re going to come home, Eric is so mad he won’t even talk to me, Carrie pretends everything is fine when I know it isn’t… John, I don’t want them to be confused. Not any more than they already are. I want you to stay away from them.”





His jaw clenched and she saw the flash of pain in his eyes before he dropped his head. She wanted to take him in her arms, to ease the hurt away. Knowing it would only make things worse, she pressed her lips together and kept silent.

“I didn’t mean… it just kind of happened, Marlena,” he stammered. “I didn’t intend to, to make false promises to them. It won’t happen again, Marlena. I’m sorry.”

His words had a finality that scared her, that made her want to take it all back. Instead, she simply watched as he walked away from her and back to Dimera.

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