“I have to go back.”

“No.”

“For the children. I have to go back.”

“I won’t let you.”

She studied him, standing before her blocking her way. The flames of the fire a play of light and shadow across his face, revealing and distorting so that he seemed to shift before her gaze. Husband, father, killer, thief. A blur of men, of memories, of emotions. A blur that shifted with every flicker of flame. Only the eyes were real, gleaming out at her with the purest of blues. There was no lie in those eyes. No hint of hesitation. He would never let her go back to Alamain. Not now. Not ever.

Anger flushed her face and she stalked toward him. “These are my children, John. Not yours. You have no right to prevent me!” she lashed out, wanting the words to hurt him. Wanting them to make him let her go.

She achieved one of her goals. His face went pale and his hands clenched tightly at his sides. “That’s not fair, Marlena. You know it’s not!” he growled out, his voice low and dangerous.

“It wasn’t meant to be. Now get out of my way,” she said coldly, brushing past him as she made for the doorway.

“No!” he shouted harshly, his hand leaping forward to stop her progress. His fingers tangling in the soft cloth of the gown. Dragging her back. Tearing at the fragile silk.

She whirled around at his touch, eyes blazing with fury and he stared back at her, shocked by what he had done. The shreds of the fabric dangled from his hand, swaying softly on the air as she stood before him, her wild hair a flaming mane of red and gold that shimmered in the light of the fire. Alabaster skin stood exposed, her firm breasts rising and falling with every gasping breath. Half-naked in the firelight, she was lust incarnate. “I will never let him touch you again,” he hissed out, his eyes holding hers in a molten stare.

She felt a shiver run through her frame, her skin prickling as his eyes swept over her. Wordlessly, she turned away from him and stepped again toward the tunnels. His big hand grabbed her wrist, holding her firm.

“Let me go,” she said flatly, the panic starting to rise as she realized that he was willing to use force to make her stay.

“No,” was the stoic response.

The touch of his hand was too much. He felt so warm. So alive. So hers. How could she leave him to return to one who made her skin crawl? Who made her feel dirty with the merest touch of his glance? In a sudden frenzy, she tried to pull free, using her weight to jerk against his hold. “Let me go!” she half screamed, twisting her body away from him while she still had the will to leave.

With an angry grunt, he pulled her back until she stood pressed close against him. She could feel his heat against her back, even through the canvas of his field jacket. His arms looped tightly around her and his warm breath brushed against her ear as he softly whispered. “Never.”

She spun in his arms, so angry she couldn’t see. Her hands slammed against his chest, pounding at him with her fists. Stone-faced, he stood immune to her onslaught and in sudden frustration she raked her nails down his throat and chest to leave bleeding gashes that showed clearly beneath his torn T-shirt.

He snarled at the pain, his hands snaking up to grab her wrists, his ripped flesh burning from her touch. With one hand he held her crossed wrists above her head as he shoved her back against the stone walls of the cavern. Chest to chest they stood, the rough material of his jacket rubbing against her swollen nipples with every gasp of air he took.

“Let me go,” she moaned out softly, her breath catching in her throat as she tilted her head back to look up at him.

For an answer, he crushed his body to hers, his knee wedging between her legs as his head dropped to nip lightly down her throat. His lips came to nestle in the hollow of her throat, and she could feel his reply rippling across her skin. “Never.”

She growled at him then, straining upward to lay her lips against the furrows she had drawn on his neck. His head arched back as the wounds burned and he could not help but grind against her, a low moan rumbling through his body. “I will never let you go. Never,” he swore, his head tilted back to stare into the darkness as his body surrendered itself to her will.

She wanted the world to know that he was hers. Her only one. The only one she would ever want. Her right leg crept up his thigh, looping itself around him as she sank her teeth into the side of his neck, sucking hard so that there would be no doubt that he had been marked. With a harsh cry he released her hands and grabbed at her face. She rose to meet him and as his fingers tangled in her hair her lips met his in a hungry kiss.

His jacket slipped from his shoulders as her hands tore the remains of his T-shirt away. He sucked her tongue, desperate to posses her mouth as her hands ran across his broad chest. His cock strained against the tough material of his fatigues, his hips jerking as her fingers teased across his concealed hardness. And then she had him in her cool hand and his head snapped back as if he had been burnt.

“Jesus...” he hissed out to the shadows.

“Hardly,” she whispered in his ear as her white teeth clamped down on his earlobe and her hand stroked down his rigid member. This time when he screamed out, it was her name he called.

Her name on his lips. Only his lips. Only for him. This was only for him. The thought pounded in her mind as he shuddered in her grip. Her free hand crept around his back, exploring the smooth expanse of skin as her head dropped to tease at the pink bud of his nipple. His face nestled in her hair and she could feel his whispered words as he ground out his mantra. “I will never let you go. I will never let you go...”

He convulsed against her, voice cracking with the strain. Almost violently she was lifted into the air, his hands tearing away the remaining strands of her gown. She locked her legs behind his hips and leaned back against the hard rock. With one sudden thrust he was inside her. Buried to the hilt, he froze and stared into her eyes, relishing the feel of her body wrapped around his.

He was liquid fire inside of her and she could feel him throbbing though he made no movement. Her legs clenched tighter and she rocked against him, watching as he sobbed for breath at the slightest hint of friction. His hands tightened on her waist and he slowly drew back, flesh rubbing against flesh. She felt as if she were floating, the smooth glide of muscle an endless pleasure that would continue until it killed her. Just before the contact was lost he rammed forward, splitting her in half with the force of his thrust.

She bucked in his tight grip moaning with every blow he pounded into her. Her back ground into the rocks, sharp edges scraping against sweating flesh. The world seemed to blur as the heat consumed her, tingling along every nerve in her body. The only sound she could hear was the frantic beat of her own heart. And then he screamed…

Muscles she didn’t know she had suddenly seemed to shatter and he was shooting into her, his heavy warmth filling her every crevice. With a muffled sob he sank slowly to his knees, still cradling her against him. Tears streaked his face and whiskers scrapped against her cheek as he whispered brokenly. “I will never let you go.”

Eons had passed. Eons or minutes, it didn’t really matter. Eternity would not be long enough for her to be with him. Cupping the side of his face, she ran her thumb across his cheekbone, relishing the gentle sigh her touch provoked. “I love you. I was born to love only you,” she whispered down at his dark head, huddled against her chest.

He squeezed his eyes tight shut, his arms encircling her. Luxuriating in the feel of her soft skin. She flinched as his hand skimmed across flesh rubbed raw by the rocks of the walls, and he sat up to look at her, concern in his eyes.

“I hurt you,” he said softly, pain in his voice.

“You never hurt me,” she replied with a small smile, her hand going out to trail through his damp hair.

“I always hurt you,” he answered bitterly. Avoiding her eyes, he slipped away from her and walked to the edge of the spring. Flames reflected off of black water, light and shadow clashing in an endless war, an eternal dance. With a rueful smile, he wondered if it was a sign. Prayed that it was not. Knowing that eventually the fire would burn itself out. The flames would die. The light would fade. In the end, there would be only the darkness.

Cold had replaced the warmth where his body should be. A chill ran through her, and she reached out to snag his jacket. Pulling it tight around her shoulders, she wrapped herself in his essence and watched him, standing alone beside a pool of flickering fire. She shivered again, realizing that he had spent far too much of his life alone. Silently she rose and went to him, rubbing her hands gently across the tight muscles of his shoulders. Feeling him tense at the light caress.

“I will never understand why you choose to love me,” he rasp out, voice thick with emotion.

Stepping close, she wrapped her arms around him and pressed against the smooth warm skin of his back. “Choice has very little to do with it,” she replied with a soft chuckle.

Shifting in her embrace, he turned to face her. Silently his hand rose, his fingers reaching out to lightly trace the line of her jaw, the curve of her cheek. Blue eyes shone, the flicker of firelight reflecting down on her. “I would die for you,” he said roughly. “You know that, don’t you? My life is the only thing I have to give you. The only gift I can offer.”

Involuntarily, her hand dropped to her flat stomach as thoughts of her child ran through her head. “That is not your only gift to me,” she whispered softly, pulling herself close against him and resting her head against his chest. Her child. Their child. His child. He should know.

A smile crossed her face at the thought of his reaction. A little boy. A little girl. A tiny miracle, symbolizing their love for one another. She wanted this for him more than she had ever wanted anything in her entire life. Slowly, she lifted her head. Fastened golden eyes on his face. Memorized every detail of the moment. And realized that he could not know. Not here. Not now. Instead, she stood on tiptoe and whispered in his ear. “I love you. We will always be together, I promise you. But I have to go back. Sweetie, you have to let me,” her words said softly as she ran her hands slowly through his hair.

His eyes closed and she could feel the tremors shaking his lean body. He dropped his head and with a tear streaked face whispered brokenly. “I know.”

She pulled him close, her arms wrapping around him in fiercely protective grip. “I will always love you,"she said, rubbing his back in gentle soothing circles.

Without reply, he bent down and lifted her off her feet, cradling her in his arms. The jacket slipped from her shoulders, the chill of the air bringing goose pimples to her skin, and she curled against him seeking his warmth. His contact. With steady steps he walked slowly into the water, wading out into the warm depths of the hot spring.

She listened to the strong steady beat of his heart as the water crept up his thighs, swirling against the dark material of his fatigues, growing almost uncomfortably hot as he neared the source of the flow cascading down over a jumbled mass of smooth boulders. She sighed in contentment as the waters enveloped her, her hair trailing out behind her, quicksilver dancing on the waves.

So gently it seemed as if he were afraid of breaking her, he set her down on the smooth warm surface of the rocks. Steaming streams of water washed over her, caressing her bare skin in an endless flow. The dirt and the sweat were swept away as she stretched like a lazy cat in the sun.

He watched her with hooded eyes, a still figure standing in the shadows. Saw how her body shone, luminous under the falling sheets of dark water. Felt how his body responded, every fiber of his being coming alive. Knew how he had to touch her. Now. Forever. Always.

Suddenly desperate for her, he glided forward to rest one hand on the base of the rocks. His other hand ran up her side, the water curling over his fingers like a living thing. She sighed beneath his caress, her body stretching out across the polished stones. Flawless skin, tawny and golden beneath the running waters. It seemed to flow beneath his fingers, alive and warm. Created solely for his touch. To posses such beauty was a grace he knew he did not deserve. In the end, he knew it would not be allowed. Reluctantly, he pulled his hand back, to have her only to lose her the one thing he knew would break him.

Every sensation seemed heightened. The water roared in her ears and her flesh quivered with the heat of its passing. The smooth stroke of his hand seared her flesh as a low moan rumbled through her chest. And then he was gone, the loss of his touch turning her cold beneath the heated waters. She opened her eyes and sat up. Saw him watching her, the swirling waters pounding to white foam against his bare chest. In his eyes, there was fear. Fear for her. Fear of losing her.

“I will come back,” she whispered. “I promise you, I will not leave you.”

He looked away, unwilling to hold her gaze. Unable to make himself believe.

With a sigh, she reached forward. Stroked his face. Eminently grateful now that she had not told him of his child. “I’m stronger than I look, you know?” she teased him with a tiny grin as she reached out with a toe to scrape across his taut abs.

He flinched in surprise and looked up at her. “Oh, I know that,” he replied with a small smile.

She did not want this night to end in fear. She had experienced enough fear to last a lifetime. They both had. She would tolerate no more. Shifting forward on the rocks, she leaned out to run her hands down his sides, skimming lightly over the ridges of hard muscle. Teasing across the raised outline of an old scar. Coming to rest on the rough material of the fatigues that were now plastered to his body. Suddenly realizing that he was still half dressed, she pushed him gently away, raising a cocked eyebrow.

“Why is it that I always seem to be the one who ends up naked?” she asked, a grin lighting her face as the pure joy of being with him washed over her.

As always, her smile seemed to lighten his heart. With a shy grin of his own, he gave a slight shrug. “Coincidence?”

“Try again,” she replied, feigning consternation.

“Mmm.... God’s a man?” he answered, the look on her face almost forcing a chuckle from him. The look should have been a warning, but he was too slow.

Lightening fast she was on top of him, bearing him down beneath the waters with her weight. Clever fingers tugged at his waist, and then he was allowed to rise for air. Breaking the surface. Shaking the hair from his eyes. Seeing her standing before him, water up to her neck and his belt held triumphantly in her hands.

“Better get those boots off, baby. Guess what I’m going after next!” her voice range out cheerfully, delight in her tone.

Impishly she stood before him. Taunting him with her incredible body, teasing him with the look in her eyes. Gods, she was beyond price! He could not help the laughter, ringing out deeply to echo off of the stoney walls. “You’ll have to catch me first, little one,” he challenged her before diving beneath the water and swimming toward shore with strong smooth strokes.

The water was knee high, splashing up beneath his booted feet in shining crystal drops, when he felt strong arms wrapping around his legs. Twisting as he fell, he ended up lying on the cool sand of the bank as she tugged at his laces of his boots.

Propping himself on his elbows, he watched with amusement as she flung first one and then the other of his boots to the side. Wiggling her eyebrows in what he could only assume was a horrible Groucho Marx impersonation, she said cockily, “To the victor go the spoils. Pucker up, loverboy!”

Flinging herself forward, she wiggled seductively against his chest as their lips locked in a kiss that was half caress, half competition. For long moments, the only sound was the gentle flow of the water and the deep growl in his chest as the need for her sang through his veins. When she finally broke the kiss, he lay gasping beneath her longing for more.

“Are you ever going to make an honest woman of me?” she asked faintly as the ability to breathe slowly returned.

Startled by the comment, he suddenly went cold. Rolling her over gently in his arms, he straddled her slim hips and looked down on her. “What?”

The look of confusion on his face was priceless and if the question had not been so important to her she would have laughed aloud. Instead, she simply smiled and reached up to clasp her hands behind his neck, pulling him down until his face hovered above her own. “John, I’m asking you to marry me,” she said softly.

Almost guilty he glanced away. With a sudden surge of muscle, he was on his feet walking away from her. Leaving her lying alone, feeling cold and empty. It was not what she had expected of him, and she curled in on herself, sitting up and wrapping her arms around her knees as if it would somehow protect her from the hurt.

“Why would you want me?” the words carried to her, flat and emotionless.

“What, the great sex isn’t enough of a reason?” she replied bitterly.

His steps faltered and she saw his hands clench at his sides as he realized what he had done. Slowly he turned to face her, wounded eyes dropping to meet her own. In an instance he was beside her, falling to his knees in the white sand. “I’m sorry,” he whispered gently. Cautiously, he reached out to brush away the trail of tears on her cheeks. “I… I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just… Marlena, it never occurred to me that you would want me… that way.”

Her laughter verged on the hysterical, and she turned her head away from his touch. “Well I’m not sure what more I could have done to show you how I feel, John. How many ways do you think there are to say ‘I love you. I want you. I need you’?” she said softly, in a voice that was almost a sob.

“Marlena? Doc… look at me. Please?” he pleaded. Eyes clouded with anger and pain turned to meet his own, and he cringed inside, knowing that he was the one who had done this to her.

The shame and the fear made his chest tighten. Made his words harsh. “Marlena, I am the one who brought you to this. All of the pain, all of the danger. God! Your children are gone, pawns to be used against you! I did this to you! I have destroyed your life. Perhaps even ended it, if you insist on going back to Alamain. My damn brother! Hell, it must be written into my genetic code that I will wreck everything that is good and pure in my life. Marlena, I don’t want to do that to you. I won’t do it.”

Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Her voice was cold and distant when she finally answered him. “So was it always a lie? Did you never intend to return with me to Salem? Was that your plan all along? Placate the little woman until you could get her safely home and then disappear into the night without a word? Damn you!” she hissed, pulling away from his grasping hands. Stalking to the edge of the dark water, she wrapped her arms around a body that seemed suddenly exposed and raw.

He knelt in the sand, his face resting in his hands. Still turned away from where she now stood, he replied almost gently. “I have never lied to you, Marlena. Never knowingly. I want to be with you more than I want to take my next breath of air. I would have gone with you anywhere. It’s not like I could stop myself if I wanted to. I will always be with you. Watch over you. Protect you. I have sworn this to you. I swear it again, here and now.”

She shivered at his words, knowing that he meant them. She could not be angry with him. Not for his fears. Not when she knew that they were well earned. But she could not accept having only a part of him in her life. Her hands dropped to cradle against her stomach, searching for some sign from the tiny life that she knew grew within. Sadly, she turned to face him, taking in his huddled pose. “John, I don’t need a watchdog. I need a husband. Someone to share my life with, fully and completely. You are the only man I will ever want, but I will have you in body and in soul, or I will not have you at all,” she said gently, her anger replaced by sorrow.

Carefully, he approached her. Wondering what was best. Wondering what was right for her. He wanted her. Wanted to be with her in this life and beyond. But what he wanted wasn’t important. It never had been.

Reaching out, he brushed a damp strand of hair from her face. “I will hurt you,” he said with certainty. “Being with me will hurt you.”

She stretched up, brushing his lips with the barest touch of her own. Holding his gaze, she softly replied. “I love you. I trust you. Grant me the trust to make my own decision.”

For the briefest instance he hesitated, feeling the danger, tasting the fear. Then his heart overwhelmed him, and he dropped to his knees. Taking her hand in his own, he looked up into her face. His voice rang clear as he asked, “Marlena, will you grant me the honor? Will you marry me?”

A smile broke across her face, and tears again trickled down her cheeks. His big hand gave hers a gentle squeeze and she threw herself forward into his embrace. Laughter burbled up as his arms wrapped around her so tight that she could barely breathe. The sense of relief made her giddy, and giggles fought with the tears as she wheezed out, “Let me think about it!”

He rolled her over in the sand, the warm water lapping at their sides. “You are an evil woman,” he hissed, refusing to loosen his grip for fear that somehow she would be swept away from him if he did.

For a reply, she pressed her lips to his. A cool dry kiss that turned instantly into something more. Longing and desire. Anger and fear. All wrapped up in the sweetest kiss he had ever tasted. When she finally drew back to look at him, he had to remind his heart to start beating again.

Satisfaction in her voice, she whispered softly. “Well, you deserved it. And ‘yes’, I will marry you.”

He had feared this. Had avoided thinking of his place in her future. But at her words, all of his defenses crumbled. Surging to his feet he swept her into his arms. The warm water welcomed them, soothing away the worries, washing away the tears. Buoying them up, their bodies entwining in an ever shifting embrace. His lips trailed down the arched curve of her throat and she could feel his laughter against her skin as she eased the zipper down on his fatigues, the waterlogged material drifting down to rest on the sandy bottom.

His fingers clenched tightly around her hips and hard muscles knotted as he lifted her high into the air. She threw her head back, joyous laughter crying out to the heavens as he whirled in place and she seemed suddenly capable of flight.

The drops of water shone on her bare skin, a million precious gems refracting the light of the fire. He held a rainbow in his hands and his heart broke at the beauty of it all. As he eased her back down into the comforting warmth of the water, her long legs wrapped around him, sliding smoothly across his slick skin. Making him shiver. Making him hard. Her lips caught his just as his legs collapsed beneath them. Floating in the embrace of the dancing waves, they made love. Slowly. Endlessly. As if for the first time. As if for the last

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